Chris Calogero: It's All Happening (Vanderpump Rules S6E11)
When Scheana's incredible boyfriend Rob invites the VPR gang up for a weekend of cramped sleeping environments and boat rides, it's not long before James Kennedy decides to drink a bunch of Fireball. Does Tom Sandoval chop his toe off like in "Adventures in Babysitting?" How stoned is everyone at dinner? Will any of the men ever hang their own televisions? It's the episode that takes a vacation, only to add more stress.
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Rob: Welcome to Vanderpump Robs a podcast about Hollywood. I'm Rob Schulte. And today I welcome a very special guest introduced to me by a very special friend.
This guest I'm excited to have him here. His new comedy special, Husky Boy, out now. Welcome, Chris Calogero. Hey, Chris.
Chris: Hey, Rob. Thanks so much. I appreciate it, man. Thank you for meeting my quote. Um, I appreciate it. Uh, the Venmo just came through, so we're all set to go.
Rob: Excellent. I, you know, people don't understand. [00:02:00] That's how business is done. You know, it's, it's how we do these things here. And we're on a on on for an exciting one because Chris. Chris, hold, we'll hold my feet to the fire and I'm okay. Yeah,
Chris: call them out, call them out, call out culture, baby.
Rob: I like that hat though you got on Is that Kansas City? I can't.
Chris: It's a, it's a Kansas City Monarchs hat. Yes. I think the Royals wore it once or twice. Yeah. Um, and I love, uh, vintage hats and throwback hats. So, um, I definitely, uh, I'm always on the lookout for that. And it was on sale, so baby, I got it.
Rob: Hey, I'm originally from Kansas city and you know, I love a sale.
So everything is great here. We're doing good. Yeah, of course. Uh, now if we could only have that basketball team over there now, uh, Chris, talk to me about Husky Boy. I, I'm excited.
Chris: Yeah, first comedy special, first [00:03:00] album. Um, this is a culmination of my many years in stand up.
Uh, it is my first recording. Uh, so you can stream it on iTunes and Amazon. and on your old Zunes and all those things and your Nintendos and whatnots. But, uh, yeah, it's, uh, and also you can watch the video component of it on YouTube. Um, just search Chris Calogero, Husky Boy, and my entire special is up there, uh, for your viewing pleasure.
Um, yeah, it was a really exciting thing for me. Uh, uh, a goal, a dream I've had since I was a little teen boy buying. CDs of comedians albums. And, um, I'm really. Uh, feel really humbled that it's out in the world. So, and relieved, honestly.
Rob: Well, yeah. I mean, now what else are we going to do? No listeners. I, I implore you to go check it out.
It is hilarious. I was just, uh, finishing it up [00:04:00] before this record, the usual one. Very, very pleased with it. And there's some interesting stuff on the album about Vanderpump rules. I don't know if you want to, Direct people to listen to it, or, or if you want to tell me, you know, how you know about the Vanderpump Rules universe.
Chris: it's interesting, our mutual friend Rob Adler, who is the mastermind behind the album, he, you know, he audio recorded it, he video recorded it, he edited it, um, he shot it. So he was really, um, the, the Robert Rodriguez of the whole thing. Uh, but he, you know, he hooked me up with you and said, you have this great podcast and I wanted to come on.
And Vanderpump rules actually was a show that my old roommate, uh, loved. And so I would watch with her a little bit, you know, when you, I don't know, you have a roommate, they like something, you're not quite into it. You stand around and. Eat standing up and my, my wife calls it standing dad, you watch it and you're like, pretend you're not into it.
And then you're like, wait, what's that guy doing? Why is he, [00:05:00] why are they fighting? And then you're in, you know?
Rob: Yep. Uh, that's pretty much my exact story of getting in myself.
Chris: Yeah. So, um, but she used to watch it and, um, she, uh, unfortunately passed away. Um, nine years ago, uh, but the last track on Husky Boy, um, is dedicated to her.
It bears her name and it is all about, uh, how I dealt with the loss of my friend, um, and, and the ideas of grief in general. So it's kind of cool to be promoting the album on a Vanderpump Rules podcast because I know if I had told her that, uh, she would be like freaking out. So very cool.
Rob: Well, I'm really happy to be a part of it.
And that's, that's such a great story. Um, really puts into perspective though, um, the stories that are shown on this show.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. The important documentation of these. Extremely interesting. [00:06:00] Uh, down to earth people.
Rob: And don't forget they're all hot. So, uh,
Chris: Yep.
Rob: Let's, let's dive in. We're watching season six, episode 11.
It's all happening, which originally aired on February 19th, 2018, which feels like yesterday, but then you do some math. And it is almost a decade ago. Crazy, man. I cannot
Chris: believe
Rob: that. I know, I know. Well, here's what, here's the wild thing. And maybe this is my own brain. being rotted by covering all of these shows, but you can really tell a difference.
The Bravo TV dot com descriptions pre and post chat GPT. So,
Chris: oh, fascinating.
Rob: We're getting a pre chat GPT. Description, and let's see what it has to say. [00:07:00] Lisa channels all her energy into restoring Sir after the devastating fire. On the heels of her birthday meltdown, Stassi consults a tarot card reader about her future with Patrick, while Sheena invites a select group of friends to visit Rob's prized cabin in Big Bear.
James makes a startling admission about his feelings for Lala, And Jax feels left behind in the wake of Tom and Tom's success. There are clauses in this. There are describing words. It actually feels like maybe a human wrote it. An intern, but a human.
Chris: Sure, sure, sure. Somebody being severely underpaid. Yes.
Uh, and promised things that never come true.
Rob: Absolutely. That's the business baby. well let's, let's jump into it. It's a beautiful day in West Hollywood, 79 degrees, not a cloud in the sky. And Sheena Sandoval and Ariana are headed to pick up some shifts at Villa Blanca. [00:08:00] Now, Chris, having not known the entire lore of the show, Villa Blanca, do you need some context, clues, did you kinda, did the show do a good job of explaining what Villa Blanca is?
Chris: Uh, it seems to be the restaurant where they all started out, um, where Vanderpump Rules began. or here's,
Rob: here's the, you're correct, but here's the classic phrase that Lisa says in the pilot episode Villa Blanca is where you take your wife and sir is where you take your mistress aged, aged so well,
Chris: beautifully and so, so relatable.
I mean, I, you said it and I was like, of course,
Rob: of course, you know, one is like all white and pristine and clean. The other one's purple and just got caught on fire. So,
Chris: uh, which they will be fixing in three days,
Rob: three days, but they did have to have a generator. We, we [00:09:00] gotta, we gotta see that generator shot.
Chris: The horror. Yes.
Rob: Yeah. So there's always been rumors about Tom and Ariana, uh, throughout the show. This is of course, right in the middle of where we are in Vanderpump rules. We know. Scandal and everything like that has happened since then.
Chris: I remember I was watching this with my wife and I was like, this is the guy who got in all this trouble just recently.
Um, and it's weird when, um, subculture y things, which I mean, obviously Vanderpump Rules is a big show, but it still is not, my parents wouldn't know it, you know? Um, but when all of a sudden some scandal happens and then boom, like it's head pops up above the surface of, of where it lives. And now people have to.
Deep dive to figure out a, who this person is and B, why this is a scandal.
Rob: Yup. And also so interesting when like celebrities who would never touch reality TV, like start talking about reality [00:10:00] TV, like yes. I remember Rob Lowe was talking about Scandaval with his son because like unstable had come out.
And I was like, this just doesn't feel right. I don't like it. Let me sit in my corner and watch my little programs, please. Right.
Chris: Right. Like you're like, you don't, you don't know them. Like I know them.
Rob: Exactly. so she, she, Lisa is like, Hey, so where was anything really going on, Tom, you, you, There was rumors, you and Ari and they're like, Nope.
Not at all. See you later, Lisa. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. They really dismiss it very quickly.
Rob: Yeah. Uh, Sir's getting the facelift like we talked about. And we also learned that Sheena's boyfriend, Rob, Rob Valletta.
Chris: Rob can do no wrong.
Rob: And in one of his rights, He's inviting a lot of the crew up to his house in Big Bear, where we all hope that Jax doesn't drown.
Chris: He's got that back, you know.
Rob: you know, he's 38.
Chris: [00:11:00] He's
Rob: 38
Chris: now.
Rob: That's everything starts to dwindle and it couldn't at all be because he just doesn't want to take this trip with all of these people, which I
Chris: think, yeah.
Which is, I, I don't think he's wrong for that.
had this theory now that I've been hearing, this has been happening a lot for some reason, but I think whenever people hit the eight and nine parts of their, their decade age, you know, 28, 38, they, they, they can't stop saying it.
we, I know a guy who is 37 and he's very similarly, Like, well, you know, I'm 37 and it's like, you can, we, like, I don't, it doesn't have that much meaning that when you say it, it means like, it's full of anything.
Rob: it's like when, when the year 2000 was about to happen and it's like 98, 99, it's like, Well, we're about to hit a new millennium.
So
Chris: I
Rob: guess flying cars are just right around the corner.
Chris: Right. [00:12:00] Like just saying that in and of itself is enough to give you all you need.
Rob: Yep. Uh, I just turned at the time of this recording, 40 years old. And I plan on never mentioning my, my age ever again, unless I can just talk about how old I am and that's all that matters.
But I, but I won't use it as an excuse, you know, I think Ashton Kutcher was 37 for about an entire decade. And we'll, we see where that got him.
Chris: I think he was 37 on that 70s show.
Rob: I think so too. I think so too. Uh, and that's all we need to talk about the cast of that 70s show. So Kristen, has A West Hollywood apartment with her boyfriend Carter.
Carter is nowhere to be seen, but you know who is able to be seen? Brittany and Katie, who are over hanging out decorating their swag scooters. [00:13:00]Now, this is glorious product placement.
Chris: It is, really. I mean, do you think they ever, do you think they ever ride them again? After that episode
Rob: never They're not taking public transportation and they're not taking electric scooters of any kind anywhere. Absolutely not. They will ride them for the show and they will take one for free.
Chris: Yes, absolutely.
Rob: I just couldn't imagine, like, they're like bedazzling them, right? Which is actually, I mean, I love, it's kind of cool.
Yeah. That they're like making it their own, but that would never have been my thought. Like, here's your razor scooter. Um, now make it your own. I just thought that's what you had to do. You got it, you know?
Chris: Yeah. You just get it and you put garbage pill kid stickers on it, you know? Um,
Rob: good call. Good call.
Chris: But I do enjoy that they're having. Like a decorate your scooter party. Yes. I think that's actually [00:14:00] pretty fun, but they also are doing it extremely joylessly joy. They're not like, Oh, you're you on, they're just. It, they look like they work at like the triangle shirtwaist factory. Like they're just, they're just joylessly putting things together.
You know?
Rob: Yeah. Uh, I can only equate it to when you have some sort of high school or like. Still in college job that, you know, it's, you're, you're probably working in the service industry, but for one day your boss pulls you aside and it's like, we have to make like window decorations. Here's like the construction paper from office Depot.
I picked up like, okay, I guess this is better than, you know, checking groceries today, but
Chris: do we get paid for it? That's fine. But also, um, so how long have you lived in, um, Los Angeles.
Rob: Well, I lived in LA for a couple of years and now I [00:15:00] live out near Palm Springs. So total, I've been on the West coast about four years.
Chris: All right. I moved to LA about two and a half years ago.
Rob: Okay.
Chris: And I, I've never heard anybody express a phrase like having a scooter is essential for living in LA.
Rob: Is
Chris: that, am I wrong? Maybe I'm wrong. I'm transplant.
Rob: Not at all. And it is such a car culture an electric scooter is just a little bit more convenient than walking.
And in some ways. Less convenient and more dangerous. And this is not a walking city. Even when you live in West Hollywood, you're still walking a mile before you get to an area where it's just restaurant, restaurant, restaurant, you know? So it's not essential. Uh, but I did love the little montage of them.
You know, going around the block on their scooters. Cause [00:16:00] that's something I miss. Maybe it's a product of COVID. Maybe it's a product of getting older, but like just being able to go out on your bike or your skates or whatever with your, your group of friends in the neighborhood,
Chris: For sure. I, I did appreciate all of that. Um, but I just, I thought that phrase was so funny and I, I. it feels like one of the craziest things about LA I've ever.
Rob: Yeah. And you are not wrong at all. Another crazy thing is that at a birthday party, you rack up a 1, 500 bar tab that you make your friends pay because you leave in a rage.
Chris: I mean, there is nothing quite as beautiful. Uh, well, a specific kind of beauty of people being in fights while they're in Halloween costumes. Yes. I mean, it is, I, I, I can't get enough of it.
Rob: It's, it's so good that like, I almost, when I was in college, I worked at a bar.
If there was a chance to work a Halloween shift at the [00:17:00] bar, like there was a, it was like 50, 50, do I want to party on Halloween or do I want to like make money and watch everyone act like an idiot while they're, you know, dressed up as Michael Jackson's thriller, you know,
Chris: I know, I know like, Oh my God, look, the drunk Morty is, is, is, is, is about to get into a fight with a sexy witch.
This is great.
Rob: This minion has gone insane!
Chris: Yeah, I'm looking forward to the, uh, the plethora of, um, of angry drunk, uh, people in ray gun uniforms from the, uh, from the Olympics.
Rob: Oh my God, you just unlocked something in my brain. I didn't even. There will be so many Ray Guns. So many. So many. And as there should be, Ray Gun should go as Ray Gun this year.
so we get a quick scene where Lala heads over to Brittany and Jax's house as everyone's like prepping to go to Big Bear. pretty much the whole conversation is James is an [00:18:00] asshole when he drinks and that he might still have feelings for Lala. And I'm glad the storytelling is still happening on this show.
They're still trying to structure stuff for us.
Chris: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. My, my wife had a theory that, that women on reality shows are the ones who push the story forward and guys are just kind of there, um, as accoutrement.
Rob: Yeah, your, your wife has it right on the nose. I can't say too much about this on air, but I'm working on a project, uh, related to reality TV.
And it's amazing how so many fan theories are like, is really trying to give this person a hero edit and this person is going to be a villain. As my discovery turns out, you know, this is the discovery phase of my trial of Vanderpump rule. Yeah. it's more like these people are just giving us stuff and that's what we have to edit.
You know, like there are some [00:19:00] scenes that you have to like clip together context. Right. But really Some people have to like, just come prepared to tell the tale of Vanderbump rules. Right,
Chris: right, right. Yeah, so, I love reality TV, um, but I love a driving element
Rob: about it.
Chris: You know, um, Your Love is Blind, Your Bachelor, uh, there's an end goal, Survivor is like one of my favorite shows of all time. I
Rob: love Survivor, love it. And,
Chris: but there's a There's this element that everybody is funneling towards, which is, you know, winning the marriage or winning the thing or winning survivor.
Um, and I find these, uh, amorphous kind of narrative, narrative lists, goal lists shows to be fascinating for that, for the reason you just said, which is how are they moving forward through it?
Rob: concurrently following another show called Southern Hospitality right now on the podcast and it's kind of like Vanderpump Rules, [00:20:00] but in Charleston and you can tell watching the first season of that that came out in like 2022 there was like an idea of where the show was going to go and then the cast didn't take it there and it became a whole different storyline,
Chris: but interesting.
Rob: This vanderpump rules just falls in that sweet spot of being like pre Instagram millennials into like where we are now. Yeah. So they had to like figure it out almost themselves because they weren't like housewives. Or another Bravo show. They were like their own thing. It's yes. Intriguing.
Chris: No, absolutely.
Fascinating. Um, but yeah, she pushes it forward. And, uh, this guy, I mean, this guy, James, I mean, what a treat.
Rob: Oh, he's on and off camera. Probably someone I wouldn't want to hang out with now.
Chris: I mean, he feels like he's like a lost, uh, Uh, Gallagher brother or something from Oasis
Rob: now see, I thought you were [00:21:00] thinking the, uh, the watermelon smashing Gallagher's.
Chris: Yes.
Rob: Yeah. Also brothers, also
Chris: brothers, also angry at each other. Yeah.
Rob: Yep. Yep. Probably Oasis is better for the zeitgeist right now, folks. speaking of driving factors, the gang drive up to Big Bear It's a three bedroom waterfront private dock house. There's a hot tub in the front, a sun deck.
It's got everything you need for a little lakeside view. Chris, how do we get one of these?
Chris: Oh my God. I don't know. I, I just was up at Big Bear a couple of weeks ago. it's beautiful. Oh my God. It's gorgeous. The lake is unbelievable, but we were in, we were in a little cabin, you know, when their little private beach was like, uh, about 10 feet wide,
Rob: but you know, how much space do you really need when you're just with a loved one and you've got a private beach and no, you need the hot tub.
You need this on deck. You know,
Chris: I was like, I would love that house, man. Give me that house.
Rob: Yeah, [00:22:00] Rob's been an all day on that speedboat. I hope. Oh man, Rob.
Chris: God, Rob. He's got it. He's so manly and he just like knows how to fix everything. So, uh, I foresee no problems in their relationship, uh, forward
Rob: and the rumor about him making out with a waitress that took a Madeira is just that it definitely did not happen.
Chris: Didn't happen because he loves Sheena's too much.
Rob: while the boys are away getting liquor at the liquor store, uh, Sheena and the ladies hang out on the dock. And this is when we find out how cool Rob is. Oh
Chris: my God.
Rob: He is the handiest person in the world, which is so sexy. And I know every time I'm doing yard work and hanging a mirror or a television in my house. Uh, my wife is also just like. Getting the vapors over here, you know. Yeah,
Chris: I also absolutely make my wife time me. Yes. On
Rob: these
Chris: things.
Rob: The stopwatch is just clicking down as you're just like sweating to find the stud on the wall. Yeah. The
Chris: amount of [00:23:00] bullet holes in our ceiling from the start gun going off. It's just unbelievable.
Rob: Oh man. Lala then turns to Raquel and she's like, Hey, you know, James. has been a real asshole lately, uh, talking about my man.
And Raquel's like, yeah, that's not cool. He's my boyfriend. I shouldn't let him talk to our mutual friend group like that. And then Lala says she'd literally take a bullet for her man. Do you know who this man is? I know it's in our doc, but have you, are you familiar with the lore?
Chris: I don't really know the lore of this man.
Um, between how cool Rob is, her and, and, and Lala's man. I, I don't know. I mean, who's the better man?
Rob: Well, I'll tell you this. It's Rob. Uh, because I mean, Rob is He's got your standard Hollywood problem says [00:24:00] rich parents, you know, that sort of stuff, but at least he started a nonprofit, which is what you do when you have rich parents.
Right. Absolutely. Lala's man at this point, who she is no longer with, um, is disgraced Hollywood producer, Randall Emmett, So there's some like allegations out there. I'm putting it out there. Allegedly, held like casting couch situations, made interns run and get drugs for him. Pretty much produced every one of Bruce Willis's final films.
Oh,
Chris: wow. So like there was, there's those allegations too, which was, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were forcing him to make these movies, right?
Rob: Yeah. Um, I don't know how much of that, but anyone who. Like, it's, to me, he understands that he doesn't have much of a conscience as long as he can make a film that then, you know, Makes a couple million on streaming, you know?
Chris: Yeah. So it makes sense that she would be drawn to him considering she dated James. [00:25:00] I mean, that is a hell of a track record.
Rob: Yeah. And James, like, really has Randall's number.
Like when he's done with you, he's going to be onto the next pretty actor, you know, he's going to, right. So. As much as like, I don't want to side with James here. He, he knows what's going on. He's just very, he's going to make Lala go away, not understand that the point is trying
Chris: to break. the classic onion headline, which is, heartbreaking worst person in the world makes like a good point or whatever.
Like even, even bad people can make valid points every now and again.
Miraculous to me that this guy is getting in, still getting invited places because we've all had a friend like this, who is just, just kills the vibe and gets too drunk and too mean, and eventually they stopped getting invited places.
And I just was like, I don't have any sympathy for how bad everybody's feeling because. It's not like you don't know this is going to happen.
Rob: you [00:26:00] surround yourself with shit. You're gonna smell bad.
Chris: Yeah. Right. Right.
Rob: And, and the fact is, is that like, there's also that added layer, like looking at it with the critical media studies mind is that like, yeah, that there, it's not like, this is just a trip.
It's like, Hey, we get to take a trip. That's paid for. Yes. Part of the show. It's not Miami this year, but it's big bear,
Chris: you know? So it's a fun, it's a fun weekend. I mean, yeah, but it's, uh, it's the, it's the toad and the scorpion man, the frog and the scorpion, you know, I'm a scorpion, man. Like you. You can't trust the guy.
Rob: Nah, not at all. I'm a drunk ass
Chris: scorpion, dude.
Rob: It's going to, it's going to, uh, bite you in the face, I think is the phrase. Bite you in the face, yes. Yeah. Some people don't go on this trip, though. Katie, Kristen, and Stassi, aka the witches of WeHo, stay back in LA. And at one point, Stassi asks Katie over to [00:27:00] help her with an Allen wrench, is pretty much what I gathered from that bench construction scene.
Yeah. And, uh, they just talk about. As, as Katie puts together the Walmart furniture, uh, that Stassi's boyfriend, Patrick, is probably not a good influence on her and the reason they're having trouble is because he's condescending and she's not feeling her worth and I. And probably projecting a bit because I know what happens later in the season, but it's all very clear.
Like this guy is rude and maybe not the best sit or fit for you and
Chris: it's like there's a lot of that going around.
Rob: Yeah. Yeah. It's almost as if, uh, this whole cast is in some sort of fight. Toxic environment. It's not good for their mental health.
Chris: Yeah. I was, Oh man. I said like, how many of their problems are caused by the appearance of the camera?
Rob: Yep.
Chris: Like over 50 percent of them.
Rob: [00:28:00] 100 percent and a hundred percent of the time, 50 percent of their problems are caused by the camera. Right. Uh, but Stassi's got a plan. She's going to fix all this. She's booked, a tarot card reading. Later that evening,
Chris: that's exactly what you want to do.
I mean, I, like, you could talk to your partner, um, in, in a construction, uh, uh, constructive way about the way you're feeling and how they're, uh, Interactions within the world and with you make you feel lesser than, and is there a way to work around this, um, that allows you both to be together, or you can go get your tarot cards read.
Rob: Yeah, uh, at a spot at someone's house, where she directs you to sit on the magic sweet spot, uh, which I guess is a blanket. Now, I'm not going to go through Every house has
Chris: a magic sweet spot.
Rob: That's true. I'm still trying to find mine. I need a little it'll come to me. I should get a divining rod, and maybe it'll show me my [00:29:00] magic sweet spot.
Uh, yeah, I won't go through all of the tarot reading, but one thing is that they they do the thing they always do in these shows when there's a psychic or something, where miraculously they point to the exact story issue, the They come for, but one interesting thing is that she does say Stassi will have more than one child a very easy thing for any Psychic to say but yes, Stassi does have two children now So that was nailed it, you know, got it.
Got it It couldn't be that that's the average number of children someone has but I would put
Chris: that on my resume though if I were her
Rob: I would too. You know, that's going on the website. I used to do 50 tarot card readings, but I got the two kids thing for Stassi right now. It's 500 a
Chris: tarot card.
Rob: they do give us the quick flashback. Where Lisa talks to Peter and Peter's like, yeah, I can't believe we're up and running after three days.
And Lisa's a little braggadocious. Like, who do you think I am? Of course I am. He was like, yeah, I was just being [00:30:00] realistic as your restaurant manager.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, I just thought there was also like a little breaking of the veil when, um, the upholsterer, was like, thank you. And, and she was like, no, thank you.
And it was just this moment where this poster like lucked into the fact that she was probably going to get like quadruple her rate
Rob: to
Chris: fix chairs in a matter of days and was just like, like, is going to be a lot of work, but you're like, Oh my God, thank you for, uh, because that's, I'm sure she just made so much money for how quickly that had to be done.
Rob: She realistically made probably like five months rent in LA to make sure Lisa had her chairs done in
Chris: two and a half
Rob: days.
Chris: I love that. She just was like, thank you so much. And like, kind of like Lisa's kind of like, no, no, no, thank you. Like let's not,
Rob: let's don't, don't. Don't pull the curtain back. Yeah, we got to, we got to know that I, I solved the problem.
Yeah, I solved the problem. back at big bear, James is drinking a lot. [00:31:00]That man loves fireball. Now, Chris, you may not know this. I don't drink anymore, but like, even when I did, And I wanted to party hard. It was never pulling directly from a fireball bottle. It just, it was like syrup, like direct syrup.
That's so gross.
Chris: There's something real gross and trashy about it. Yeah, I will. I I've indulged in fireball every now and again,
Rob: but
Chris: yeah, pull it. Pulling from a fireball bottle is very high squalian.
Rob: I squillion headachian, um, even, uh, but here's the thing I noticed everyone obviously is drinking. It's a nice weekend getaway, but I feel like everyone else is really stoned I've, I've smoked the devil's lettuce a time or two in my life and cooked in the kitchen with my friends. Yeah. It was [00:32:00]like a stoned dinner, like just throw all the meat in, man. Oh my God.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. It was, it was throwing meat in a, in a frying pan was, was some, some sort of metaphor for the entirety of this show's existence.
But, um, yeah, there was definitely like a low key vibe and nothing. Nothing kills like a mostly stoned party than like the drunkest person in the world. You know, it's like, it's hard to deal with, um, if you're not at that level too. Um, but I will say, uh, nary a seasoning to be found.
Rob: Not at all. In, in
Chris: that dinner, in that, in that taco dinner that they all were like, thank you for making it.
I mean, that's just what you do when you need to throw a quick dinner together. But man, was there salt? Was like, the taco meat looked so gray.
Rob: Incredibly. It was like, all I can imagine were like dinners my dad made in like 1993, where it's like, [00:33:00] yeah, I just put some ground beef. In half of a bell pepper.
Isn't this a great, like, fancy meal in Missouri,
Chris: Yeah. And I bought like one taco seasoning packet for five times the amount that it can cover.
Rob: Yep. Disturbing. you know, people are getting a little, you know, they play like never have I ever the, but it's not working. James is just being obnoxious.
So Jackson Sandoval, go lie in bed together to decompress,
Chris: I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Jack's got that back. Don't forget. He's got
Rob: the back. He's got to make sure he's he lies down. Here's the thing. Jack's been seeing a Reiki therapist.
Chris: A very, uh, close talking Reiki therapist.
Rob: Yes. Almost makes you think the practice of Reiki might need to be audited a little bit.
Yeah. One good piece of advice is given to him. And that's like, if he's in a stressful situation, he should [00:34:00] separate himself. So I guess that's why they go to bed. And he's just complaining about how he's exhausted, mentally burned out. He doesn't know how Tom and Tom does it with their new bar, Tom Tom.
And yeah, in Tom Sandoval's, Talking head. He's like, yeah, I think Jax is subtly hinting at like feeling like he didn't get the good end of the deal of being on this TV show.
Chris: Yeah, it's fascinating.
Rob: Yeah.
Chris: I mean, I, I think that that's that that is something that I would, I would love to read more about.
Um, just not about that situation, but how it would feel. Should other people rake in the benefits of like being on the show, like the side benefits, which is like, maybe you get signed to some kind of agency or you get, uh, money coming in to open up a place. Uh, and you not getting that is really interesting.
Rob: Yep. And. [00:35:00] If you were to ever decide to get the entire story told to you by someone in your life or have the moment to watch every show, you'll see that Jax did it to himself.
Chris: Uh, I believe that. Cause I remember a little bit of Jax and I, uh, I remember him being a hothead himself back in the, like a real hothead.
Um, and just, again, a lot of, so many of these people on reality shows like that, it's like, you, do you think you can? Yeah. If talk to people like this.
Rob: Yeah,
Chris: like the way that I because there's a camera with you. If there's you can't talk to people like that.
Rob: No. And even if you say it's for a show like the only thing that people remember is how you communicate with them, not like the.
Surrounding details that you are giving yourself an excuse for talking to them. Like,
Chris: right. The people you're, you're, uh, you're a jerk to rarely will, uh, and it's not their responsibility to sit back and [00:36:00] put you in context.
Rob: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. James continues to go wild in the kitchen. Wild. So wild.
Lala tries to talk to James and he's super rude, of course, which causes a larger argument. everyone else like leaves the kitchen. They're like, I'm not even going to try and reason with this guy. This is what we were talking about before it becomes one of those annoying drunk evenings where like everyone else is just trying to chill and just have a good time.
And he's on another plane of existence.
Chris: Yeah. James's current girlfriend in the show is Raquel.
Rob: in this episode. Yes.
Chris: In this episode. And I, I want to feel bad for her, but again, it's hard to have sympathy when people put themselves in these situations, and this is kind of what you sign up for, but the way that he is Essentially, fondling and being on top of Lala on the couch is, like, despicable.
Rob: Yeah, even when [00:37:00] Raquel, like, tries to pull James outside to separate him from his behavior, she's like, point blank, you know that if that was me with another guy here, Even one of your friends, you wouldn't have it. And he's like, yeah, you're not ever touching another guy. Yeah. Oh my God. Right there, dude.
Right fucking there.
Chris: What a monstrous person. I mean, they're all love different levels of despicable, but like that stuff is such classic bad guy behavior.
Rob: And the thing I hate the most jumping a little bit into the future of Vanderbilt rules is like the most recent couple of seasons, James, like, I'm not gonna drink anymore.
And now I
Chris: knew you're gonna say that.
Rob: Yep. And, and, you know, coming, obviously I don't drink, but I don't say that drinking caused me to do something. It just wasn't something that made me happy. Right? James is [00:38:00] always like, I'm that jerk because of the booze. It's like, no, you're that jerk, dude. Right? And so anyone else I just hate when I hear one of these cast members then say like, Oh, he's so much better since he stopped drinking and he's got a good girlfriend now.
And like all of these things except like, Did he do any sort of work to like better himself? Or are we just going to blame something else? Cause
Chris: those were totally his
Rob: actions,
Chris: I think that
on shows like this, because they're left more to their own devices and they're living in the real world, they're not living in like a mansion or the pods or whatever, that people get so drunk, like unbelievably so.
And I think those shows all feed them way too much alcohol, of course, but I hadn't seen somebody in a reality show that drunk in a minute.
Rob: Well, and they've been like, [00:39:00] I feel like, I don't know about Bravo, but I know like on The Bachelor and some like Netflix reality shows, there are like people saying like, you can only have two drinks or something.
Yeah,
Chris: yeah, yeah. I've seen that.
Rob: It doesn't get to that level.
Chris: Well, The Bachelor and Paradise had an incident a couple years ago. That was clearly like an over serving situation.
Rob: Yeah.
Chris: Uh. But it's not like, it's like they don't have any bartenders with sense, you know, it's like, You know, every, that's the thing about alcohol.
Everybody is going to interact with it differently. Yeah. Uh, so just have somebody to look people in the, you can tell, sorry, you can always tell when you shouldn't be giving somebody another drink.
Rob: 100%. Uh, so as these arguments are happening, people are frustrated. They're trying to sleep, whatever. I would say shut the doors and windows and things might be quieter.
I do think it's, Interesting that the cliffhanger we're left on is Jax complaining to Brittany who's just trying to sleep about [00:40:00] how, when James yells, Jax gets nervous because he's fragile. Now, you may not know this, but the beginning of this season of Vanderpump Rules, Jax is outed to have cheated on Brittany with someone, and now they're like working back through their relationship.
But here he is laying in bed with her where she's obviously like, I can't have this conversation. It's three in the morning. I got to go to sleep. We have a long day of filming tomorrow. He's just like, well, this is what you have to do in relationship. You have to listen to me complain till 4 a. m. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. You don't have a leg to stand on, man. Like
Chris: absolutely. And also, but I mean, I feel bad for him because I am assuming That this is a Friday night and you know, Saturdays are for the boys. So
Rob: true.
Chris: Oh, the barstool sports guy is fragile.
Like, sorry.
Rob: Oh, who knew?
Chris: I also, I know this is reality TV and this is what it is, but I thought it was really funny to be like, Oh my God. I cannot get to sleep [00:41:00] with them yelling. And also all our lights on and the camera crew in here. It's like, dude, pick, pick, pick something to do that you can, there's three things and you can eliminate two of them right away.
Rob: 100%. Uh, go sleep in your car. How about that? Yeah. Well, yeah, we are left on a cliffhanger and. At the end of each episode, Chris, I like to choose a pump teeny and a pasta. A pump teeny is something that skews more positive and the pasta is something that skews more negative. Uh, if you'd like, I can go first, uh, to kind of set the tone and then I'll let you know what yours are.
Okay, great. Well, the thing that skews more positive here is the thing that we. We have to love like everyone gives Sheena a hard time, but Sheena's adoration for her boyfriend, Rob, her just wanting to let everyone know how great he is, uh, really makes incredible sound bites for [00:42:00] me and my podcast. So I have to put that as my pump teeny.
And a side note on that, I love how you can tell how fucked up Sheena is when they're playing. Never have I ever, uh, And Rob is like, uh, I'll experience everything, but I don't want to fuck a bunch of random people. Cause I like my dick. And she's like, I like it too.
Chris: Yeah. She's also got that rasp going on.
Rob: Yes. Yeah. It's wild. And my pasta, I would have to say is, I mean, pretty clear James's behavior, more specifically what we just talked about, the double standard he sets when Raquel is even like, Attempting to talk to him in this state. Disgusting.
Chris: Despicable. Yeah. Um, okay. Uh, my Pumptini is actually, uh, is Stassi, uh, in general, because I [00:43:00] think that Stassi is one of the few people on that show, male or female, who actually commands the camera.
And she has a presence. And I don't know these people, they all feel like Like empty Christmas bags to me. Like there's not, there's nothing more to them, you know? Uh, but Stassi like can like, actually she's kind of funny. She has a presence. She knows her assignment as the kids say, and she delivers, man.
She, she just, she's there. She delivers. She knows what she's doing. Um, that's my Pomptini and my pasta actually. Well, it was going to be James, but I'm not going to double up. So I'm going to say my pasta is that awful dinner that we had to watch them. What a nightmare.
Rob: Those were sloppy tacos. I mean,
Chris: sloppy tacos, sloppy cooking.
You know, they tasted like garbage. Um, and [00:44:00] if you went there and they're like, we're making dinner and that was your dinner. You'd be like, come on guys. Why don't we just order pizza or something?
Rob: Yeah. We're not like there's a pizza place of big bear, like they're making a killing. So let's just do that.
And plus everyone loves product placement. Let's get swag scooters to deliver the pizza. Go
Chris: out on scooters.
Rob: Well, we've come to that part of the episode, Chris, where I'm gonna ask you to let people know again where they can find Husky Boy.
Chris: Oh, yeah, Husky Boy, my debut comedy album. Uh, you can buy it on iTunes or Amazon Digital, and you can stream it on Apple Music or on Amazon Music.
Or Spotify, iHeartRadio, all these places. And if you want to watch the special, you can do that on YouTube. Just search Chris Calogero, Husky Boy.
Rob: Chris Calogero, I thank you so much for coming on the show. Listeners, I'll have links to Husky Boy in the show notes. So go [00:45:00] plug. Watch I said plug. I meant tap you get it.
Chris: Yeah, it's happened.
Rob: Tap it. Tap it. Tap trip No, I'm not doing a happy Gilmore reference. Okay, everyone just tap the comedy special give Chris some support And we'll see you next time on Vanderpump robs. Thank you. Yes.
Chris: Thanks, man.