Truly Goated: Episode 1 — The Goat (S1 E1+2)
When Kristen Doute is on a better version of House of Villains, it’s not long before Emily and Rob remember “The Cinnamon Challenge”. Will Grocery store Joe be able to survive life outside The Bachelor Borders? Is Wendell Holland thankful to be away from his personal drama? Can a Netflix star really think they’re GOAT material? It’s the episode that worships a graven image, but gets results from its excrement.
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This transcript was made possible by an automated service. In some cases there may be errors.
Rob: Welcome to Vanderpump Rob's, a podcast about Hollywood, the Valley, and everything in between. I'm Rob Schulte, and today I've got a guest. A returning guest, a great guest. All guests are great. We get it. From Who TF Knows with Emily Rose. Emily Rose is back. Hello.
Emily: Hi Rob, how's it going?
Rob: Terrific. I'm having a terrific year, I
Emily: [00:02:00] Good.
Rob: couldn't ask for anything more.
Emily: Daniel Tosh is back on our televisions.
Rob: Oh, thank God,
Emily: I know.
Rob: Were you a Tosh. 0 fan?
Emily: I was. I was a huge Tosh. 0 fan.
Rob: I never watched a lot of Tosh. 0, but it was like, like, kind of like poking fun at, like, internet trends. Like, America's Funniest Home Videos, but for internet trends. Isn't it?
Emily: It was like early Like, the digital form of a snark sub on, uh, YouTuers and other He delved into pop culture, like, generally as well. He did quite a lot of content on the Kardashians, but around that time, who wasn't doing that? Uh, but yeah, he did a lot of early, like, YouTube content creator type, influencer type critiques, yeah.
Rob: Got it. So, there was a lot of Cinnamon Challenge videos,
Emily: Yes, he did a he did the, um, Tsk. God, the ice bucket challenge. He had a lot to say about that from what I remember.
Rob: I remember someone tagged me in the Ice Bucket Challenge about [00:03:00] six months after the Ice Bucket Challenge. Was happening and I was like, this is not a thing I'm going to do. I support
Emily: Yeah,
oh my I will
I made a joke once. I was like, um, all love to the ALS community but there's no way I'm gonna volunteer to be under freezing cold water. Like, a very low stakes joke when I was, when it, for, people came for me so hard and so I was insensitive and I didn't care about the ALS community. And I was like, oh, guess you can't be funny on the internet.
That was my first lesson. I haven't
Rob: well, I think I think John Waters has a quote I'm gonna misquote him but it's something along the lines of like there are people who get the joke and the rest are just assholes and I think Uh, the live show that we were at, uh, there's a lot of people who didn't get one very big joke on stage
you know what it happens
Emily: all been there. Okay?
Rob: you know, we haven't podcasted halfway.
We haven't podcasted. No, [00:04:00] do you have let me ask you have we podcasted since LA
Emily: Well, okay. So, can I go behind the scenes and say this is our second try at this? Because I was in a state of
Rob: you'd like to
Emily: It's okay, I can be accountable for my actions. Um, I didn't do my best job the first time, to say the least, that we recorded this, so we're re recording this.
Rob: Well, let me just put it out there. Emily was sick and she was trying to power through and we decided we will leave that audio for the archeologists of tomorrow
Emily: I was, I was
sick. And I was self medicating before I knew what my problem was. And then I would find out two days later that my gallbladder was about to actually rupture.
Rob: About to jump out of her
Emily: So, I didn't know that at the time. So, like, things you shouldn't take for that, like, uh, you're not supposed to take ibuprofen, I [00:05:00] think.
It was either Tylenol or ibuprofen. I was like, I'll pop three or four, I'll be fine. And I wasn't fine. Um, so, that's fine. But then before that, I think that you did recap, I think that you Pumperol's episode on my podcast after
Rob: Oh, that's right. That's right. Yes. And that was fun. So, here's the thing. We're going to talk about The Goat, and we're not going to do it in the strict fashion I normally recap shows on because this is a silly show and we're going to have a silly podcast about it, but we should probably talk about where we are with Vanderpump Rules now.
Like, this episode will come out. After the reunion, everyone, so understand that we have not even seen reunion part two at this point in time, what kind of person I'll be. ugh, but what I think we should address is happening? Like what happens? Because now we've got 11 season of Vanderpump rules to see what we've seen on [00:06:00] screen and then what happens at a reunion.
And is it just me, or is just like history repeating itself? Like the stories are different, but the act structure is the same, right? It's, it's very awkward. And I'm seeing with the fan base that like, if they want something to be a certain way and they want to discuss something in a certain way, they're going to find a way to fit that square peg in that round hole, no matter what.
And it's pretty. Been a bit of a journey being a Vanderpump Rules fan.
Emily: It has been. I think there's this, like, need for people to project their own experiences onto some of the cast members from, you know, after Scandalball. People feel, first of all, we got a huge we. We as a member of the community, we got a huge influx of new viewers and I've been [00:07:00] kind of psyched out because one time I got a comment from someone after I said, I feel like the new viewers really don't have the, the depth of understanding.
And what I meant to say is that New viewers haven't had the time to grasp all of the other outside of the show things that have happened and all of the additional context from things that they haven't. There's no way. At the point that I was writing this comment, there was no way. And so we have so much other knowledge that, unless you ask me about it, I can't even tell you.
Unless you, like, ask me that I remember that. Lala said that at her live show, after the divorce of Katie and Tom, that Katie was on stage talking about how she was already sleeping with other guys. It's just that they weren't in the friend group. Like, things like that, you gotta ask me about to remember.
Um, so that it doesn't, you know, whatever. Not that it, she should be able to sleep with whoever, she should literally sleep with whoever she wants. As many people as she [00:08:00] wants, but then the question was something about, you know, He's just going around and sleeping with whoever he wants and it's like, well, they both are.
It's just that he was Violating a certain term. So anyway, all of that is to say they don't have the context and so they're kind of There's also this thing and I don't know what to chalk it up to. I don't know if it's the new viewers I don't know if it's viewing the show in an era where The show would not be filmed in 2024 the way that it was in 2013, 2012. I think people really have this need to make things make sense to, to have a black and white. Outcome of things that are deeply nuanced and deeply gray like the most heather Dark heather gray shit that you can possibly find. Okay, it is it's just not it's not black and white And so it's it makes it hard as someone [00:09:00] who you know, I'm on a journey with like Katie In fact, I have season 4 playing in the background right now.
I'm watching her through the captions call Lala stupid whore and it's like Some of this stuff isn't out of her system, guys. Some of
Rob: and the thing is
Emily: is.
Rob: yeah and with that specifically like the hard part for me is like Katie is very much about accountability and You know, she could have been accountable for this on camera and it got edited out You know, we know that's been doing but she definitely has the ability to be accountable for stuff on instagram Uh on social media that she's never ever ever apologized for some really bad things Now granted has other people not apologize.
Sure, but i'm not talking about other people. I'm talking specifically about this because After reunion part one, you know, it's out of that [00:10:00] like on a production call katie got Said that she was frustrated with ariana, but then didn't want to bring that up on camera and then she does her notes app apology about how she's you know not everything needs to be aired and sure that's fine and like you know having a frustrating time with a friend is what happens it's like okay cool now apply that whole thing
to uh calling someone a whore and rage texting your friends and like like that's just one option of one character of one person
Emily: the
Rob: that could happen
Emily: the thing is, that line of logic and need for accountability for past and surely future actions is Can be applied in different ways to every single one of these people because every single one of these people are really Their their [00:11:00] their ethos is not like something to be lauded. Okay, so I
Rob: it's almost like if you're on a reality show for a decade something fucked up happens to your brain
Emily: It's almost like you're monetizing your reality So your reality is shifted to make whatever you want Makes you the most money and then, uh, you do things that will make you the most money Which oftentimes is like a dramatic or out of character or out of body thing that people wouldn't normally do day to day So and then I think the most important thing and I think that you mentioned this a little bit on your episode with Molly McAleer that you guys recapped the reunion We need to start giving these people a little bit of credit for their experience for 10 years on this show.
There's a lot of narrative out there that I think I'm finding frustrating. I talk about this on my episode [00:12:00] 2 of, like, Ariana just doesn't know what these people are doing behind her back. And she just doesn't know who they are and she doesn't know this and, and, uh, Sheena just, she does not, she just doesn't get it.
She doesn't get the point and I'm like, Guys,
Rob: They all get
Emily: it. They all get
Rob: all get
Emily: knows exactly who the fuck Lauren from Utah is, she knows exactly who the fuck Sheena is, she knows who Kate Like, she she knows. And for in in some in some ways, that's probably why she had been a level of, uh, disenchanted with the whole thing.
Up to the point where, until she was the subject of it, Maybe she wasn't all that fucking interested in being on the show anymore, and maybe she expressed that, and maybe
that's why people feel a way. Ha
Rob: Yeah. You know what gets me is like the recent thing where someone put up a poll, do you think Vanderpump Rules will be back for season 12? And Ariana voted no. [00:13:00] It's like, yeah, cause if she voted yes. It wouldn't be nearly the same amount of hubbub or interest or anything.
And guess what? Whether or not Vanderpump rules comes back for season 12. Isn't the point like Ariana's not making that decision. So if she says, no, I don't think it's coming back for season 12, she's just trying to get y'all riled
Emily: And now you guys, as I think Molly said this, you all are being produced now.
Rob: Oh,
Emily: You guys
Rob: I believe that was me,
Emily: Oh, I'm sorry,
Rob! Oh, ha ha ha, let me give you the
Rob: No, it was a conversation we had where, like, definitely, I mean, Molly's much smarter than I am, but, like, we did end up being in this position where it's like, you're just as produced. As the people on this show, as everything else, like, I even said on the finale episode of season 11 that I actually, and I do believe this, I'm swearing on a [00:14:00] stack of Bibles
Emily: hand is raised right now, guys. Don't worry.
Rob: I believe that this wasn't fucked up.
Intentionally a Sandoval redemption arc. Like I don't think they were trying to force a Sandoval redemption arc. I think they were trying to produce a season really riled up the audience. Like how can we piss off the audience in a way that they'll still keep watching, but feel like they can critique us and critique all these things.
They're like, what's the most wild thing we can put out there? What if after celebrating Ariana all season, we do a season where we try and make it look like we're trying to get Sandoval celebrated and failing miserably. Like that's going to drive our viewers insane.
Emily: and leave out, like, any kind of context or background information that could be even remotely definitive, so that debates online can [00:15:00] spur and go on and on and on and drive people, in my opinion, like me, ultimately, uh, to a burst gallbladder. I blame Vanderpump Rules.
Rob: Well, yeah. And, and I think that the same way they're doing it at us, like they threatened all the people that's like, you got to play ball, or we're not going to have another season. And Lala and Sheena are like, we have children. Um,
Emily: up the bat, honey.
Rob: I need to do what needs to be done to keep the show alive. What started VaynerPump rules?
Sheena going crazy, not crazy, but getting wild out there in them
Emily: a bit, sure.
Rob: sure. Uh, but we should, we should get to the goat, but I do want to update you. I, my plan is to cover Southern Hospitality in the off season, and I've almost reached the Southern Hospitality, Southern charm. Nexus [00:16:00]episodes. I think I've got about a season to go, so I'm going to need you to come on for some hospitality in
Emily: Oh, gladly, and if you ever do cover southern charm, I am The love that I have in my heart for that show, it's deeper than Vanderpump Rules. It really is. Like, I really only started watching Vanderpump Rules after Southern Charm, so I'm a
big SC
Rob: Well, I do think I need to do some Southern charm, Patreon only episodes. So maybe once we're done with the goat, Oh, listeners. Emily's gonna be covering all of the goat episodes with me. So, this is us dipping our toes in the water to doing more actual episodes. So, I do think we should do Patreon Southern Charm episodes.
That could be
Emily: I'm down.
Rob: But let's get into the goat. We're gonna cover episodes one and two today, and this isn't a Bravo show. This is a game show. This is like House of Villains, but sillier. [00:17:00] And that's why we get, we get Daniel Tosh's host. Let's run through who's on the show real
Emily: Sure,
Rob: we got Daniel Tosh's host.
We've talked about him, CJ Franco from F boy Island, right? I guess she was the winner of F boy Island.
Emily: I'm not a fan. I don't, I didn't watch FBoy Island. Yeah.
Rob: I'm sure it
Emily: show. But,
Rob: Yeah, yeah, it sounds good. Um, Lauren, Lauren speed, Hamilton. She's love is
Emily: Yeah, can I just say, wild choice. A wild choice. She's got
Rob: can't watch Love is Blind, I, it's,
Emily: I love Love is Blind. I've really, I've really been through the trenches with that show. I watch every season. I have begged to be selected to audition for the show. If they ask me, I will do it. Um,
Rob: Would you do The Circle?
Emily: I would not do the circle. I would only do love is blind.
Um, and I've
Rob: Because of love.
Emily: of love, because I want love, not [00:18:00] Fame or money
or anything like that. I don't want that. Um, no, but the, I also met someone who was a casting director for Love is Blind. So it didn't get me anywhere. Um, but I did meet them and Of, there we go, thank you. Of the people on this cast, Lauren is the most ridiculous ass choice.
For, I mean it's, I mean she's a nice girl, but she's like notoriously like the most boring. And so I don't know, because they were the first couple.
Rob: Yeah, why would she be the
Emily: Why would she be the go because her relationship lasted? Like, I would say, if the stakes are reality television, that's quite the opposite, ma'am.
So I had to rant about that. She's great. She's nice. She's so sweet. I like
her social media. seems out of place on a show like
Very much so.
Rob: Uh, compared to who's next? Jill Zarin. OG Roni
Emily: She thinks she's on [00:19:00] Traders. It's so funny. Like, she really thinks she's on, like, a high stakes show that isn't on Freevie. Um,
Rob: you gotta, you gotta respect though, bringing the traders game to free V
Emily: It Yeah, we need it. We need the She's always down to bring some level of delusion, which is what I appreciate.
Rob: Speaking of delusion, Kristen Doty's up next
Emily: she is.
Rob: Vanderbilt rules. And I remember when this was announced, like. Kristen's going to be on a game show. Whoa. Kristen's going to be on the Valley. Whoa. Like, and then obviously this is coming once the Valley's coming to a close and we see all of these things happening.
But I think being able to see Kristen in this scenario is going to show us if the Kristen we see on Vanderpump rules in the Valley is true Kristen, right? Like, a show like this is not the people who edit Vanderpump Rules in the
Valley. [00:20:00] So, and it's not conducive to the same sort of storytelling. Now, we will get into, when we talk about episode two, a little bit of Kristen starts coming out that we're familiar with.
But, we'll, we'll get there. Um, Tayshia Adams, we know from Bachelor, Bachelorette. Happy to see her on our screens. Grocery Store Joe, less than excited,
Emily: I don't know anything about him.
Rob: He owns a grocery store, but is now part of Bachelor Nation.
Emily: for him.
Rob: Paola Mayfield, she was from 90 Day Fiance, which I don't watch, but I feel like if I did watch, I'd want to watch absolutely everything that has to do with that show.
Emily: Yeah, I I can't I don't have the bandwidth to like dive into TLC culture But that sounds like I'm being a
Rob: Adults adopting adults though. That
Emily: look I I'm jealous. I want I want to dive in But I just I don't think my heart can take it.[00:21:00]
Rob: I was at a podcast conference once and the, there were some people who were talking about their, you know, they were on a panel about reality TV and I think this, one of the shows was Reality Gaze.
Emily: Oh Yeah. Yeah, I love them.
Oh, I love they're fun, but they pretty much only cover TLC shows and they said it's because the Bravo network or the Bravo universe was so saturated and I was like, cool, I don't know about that, but like in terms of the TLC, yeah, like, but I could see like sitting in a chair being like, well, there's all these Bravo podcasts.
Rob: What's the thing we can't do,
Emily: sorry, but they had a spin off Southern Charm podcast and it was, It's, they stopped covering Southern Charm the season before last, which was really sad because they started it from the beginning. It might have been their first podcast. I don't know. And it's so funny. I got into them through Watch What Crappens.
They were one of the two first Bravo podcasts I ever listened to.
Rob: Wow. [00:22:00] Speaking of Bravo. No, no, no. I, I need to know this sort of
Emily: Yes.
Rob: It's very important. Uh, Reza Farahan from Shaws of Sunset, which as you know, I've never seen Shaws it's in the line. I'll eventually, I'm sure get to it on the podcast, but all I know from Reza is his experience on this show and traders.
And he seems a bit much.
Emily: uh, yeah, he, the, uh, the cast of Shadows of Sunset are evil people, and he is
Rob: Oh, really? Wow. What is the conceit to that show? They're a family of realtors?
Emily: they're, they're a friend group. Of, like, very, very wealthy, um, people, it's, it's, it's kind of like, it's literally Vanderpump Rules with, if they had more money, and were, like, just more evil. They're, they're like, it's truly like, you get into it and you're like, oh, this is kind of a [00:23:00] fun show, and then it gets like, I don't know, it's really crazy.
I don't know how to describe it. I'll never
watch it again. Yeah.
Rob: Speaking of weird, uh, Wendell Holland's on this show, who won Survivor Season 36. Now, in this first episode of The Goat, we see how he's, like, doing this for his wife and kid, and how he's a good family man. Well, the Survivor drama is that, The winner of last year, as of this recording, Survivor season, because we're currently in a season of Survivor as we record this.
Previous season, previous season, because they do two a year, the previous season, the winner of that, uh, actually hooked up with Wendell. Uh, Wendell cheated on his wife with her and, uh, caused a big stir in the Survivor community.
Emily: god.
Rob: Yeah, so,
Emily: be on Vanderpump Rules. Maybe
that'll give us a little spice.
Rob: No
Emily: know that. Okay. Well that makes [00:24:00] more sense as to is that known while this is filming? Like is
Rob: Uh, I don't think it's known while it's filming, but it is known now
Emily: Oh, that's interesting. Wow. Wow. Wow.
Rob: Uh, we also get tech homes from, as I think most of us know, real world 99, which was 99 is huge. I'm actually, I, I know I don't need another podcast, Emily, but I've been talking with my friend Tim Barnes about trying to do something, how can we do where the entire series is, we just watch movies from 1999 because it's such a like huge year for media in general that like, but real world 99 was.
Just as influential. So,
Emily: was that?
Rob: uh, that was Hawaii.
Emily: yeah, I've never seen it,
So I'm unfamiliar. Hawaii,
wow,
Rob: world Hawaii.
Emily: state, that's great.
Rob: if they did real world Georgia, like[00:25:00]
Emily: that would be dark.
Rob: yes.
Emily: That would be really dark.
Rob: very much so. Well, not dark is Alyssa Edwards slash Justin Johnson
Emily: Yes, yes, love.
Rob: Justin's great. Uh, we'll get more into that later. Um, Devon Rogers from big brother is on here. Finally get some drama with her in episode two. We'll get there. Uh, then we had Joey Sasso from the circle season one. He won that.
You said you wouldn't do the circle. I'll tell you why I wouldn't do the
Emily: Tell me.
Rob: um, I would be too. Fucking bored like these people look so bored on that show and then like every other day. You have to have like a solo dance party I couldn't ever do
Emily: look, there's too many gimmicks in the circle. I think that Love is Blind has it perfect. But then, there's another spin off called Perfect Match that takes [00:26:00] all of these Netflix world reality dating show people and puts them in Their own dating show. And it's actually fascinating. And so, uh, I actually think maybe CJ was on Perfect Match.
There's only been one season so far. But Joey was on that, so that's how I know Joey. And I found him absolutely fucking miserable on Perfect Match. Perfect match, but he's one of those that you like grow to love, you know And I felt the exact same way the whole first episode I was like god, I hate this guy, but then towards the end I was like, oh Joey and then
Rob: kind of like, uh Young poppy fuego on the recent season of the circle if anyone has watched
Emily: perhaps
Rob: that old salt, young poppy fuego. Anyway, uh, our last contestant is Jason Smith, who was from Food Network's Holiday Baking Championship. So he's a, [00:27:00] he's also on America. Cookie Challenge?
Best Baker? Anyway, he's on a
Emily: Those shows don't exist first of all, so they just needed the sassy guy on there and he drives me nuts But he's necessary.
Rob: Well, basic conceit of The Goat is, it's a survivor like game. You know, each episode, people vote each other out at the end, and you're trying to find the greatest reality star of all time, as Daniel Tosh says, that are available to film in this moment. So we get that sort of tongue in cheek humor throughout the whole thing.
It's very dumb So if you like go in knowing that it's gonna be dumb, I think it's easier and more palatable But each episode has a like theme
Emily: Kind of,
Rob: I say this with the most
Emily: ha ha. Air quotes, yes.
Rob: So like episode one is survivor theme or survivor [00:28:00] based challenge themes. There's a one game at the beginning to see who the goat of the episode is.
And then, which is essentially immunity idol.
And then one game at the end to
Emily: games in episode.
And so the first challenge, the point is to get the goat.
Rob: yeah.
Emily: And the second
Rob: they can't be eliminated no matter
Emily: Right. And then the second challenge is to divide people into teams and then, uh, break down their character from there.
Rob: Yeah, now let's break down this event. They have to build a raft that supports over 50 percent of the weight of three people and then swim to, from one side of the pool to the next to unlock a chest and be the winners.
Emily: Yeah, cause they don't build anything out of the chest. No, they just have
Rob: No, it just like releases
Emily: Right.
Rob: And [00:29:00] it's not a big deal. Like it is it doesn't have to be more than what this is. You just have to build your raft better than the other team. And Wendell being from survivor has the like brilliant idea that we built two rafts. One is Oh my god. Is a, is a smokescreen raft that we hope they look at and cheat off of us for, which was, didn't happen at all.
And the other one's a simpler raft of just like four pool noodles taped together. So that we can go across and they do beat the other team and like they try to be like Oh, they had a fake raft and everyone's like, why did you do that? And like it just didn't pan out as well. And then as they're going across it's like obvious that they're just swimming because they're sinking because it's three human Right, on
Emily: a couple pool pool noodles.
Rob: Yeah, and they're like, isn't that?
That didn't support 50 percent of their weight, so they were disqualified. And [00:30:00] there it is, right? Like very simple, very silly.
Emily: how did a guy with that kind of brilliance get caught cheating? I just don't know.
Rob: I, how could it happen? Hmm. How could he get caught cheating with another winner of survivor?
Emily: no. His, his, his mistress? No, his wife is the solid raft that he hopes other people are looking at while he's
Rob: The decoy
Emily: He's with the, the noodle mistress
Rob: Yes. The noodle
Emily: him and eventually leads to his drowning. It's symbolism, Rob.
Yeah. we all get it. We're, we're all there for it. Um, The interesting thing to me between these like challenges is that like immediately they're like, well, we must form alliances. Like there's no
Yeah,
Especially this comes up in the second episode so much that I'm like, [00:31:00]do they all think that they're on traitors? It's so goofy. Because
Rob: or survivor.
Emily: Survivor, like Daniel Tosh very much sets this up as like self referential, This is a joke of a game. I know where this is filmed, I promise you.
This is a big joke. The pool joke. It's just a joke. They, they put, when they're casting their votes for who should be eliminated, they put it in a gold statue of an actual goat with it's mouth open. Whisper the name, kiss the goat, and then they get the votes out of the goat's ass. Like,
Rob: Because this is obviously, uh, produced by the Illuminati. And they're all under control
Emily: they are.
Rob: of the goat.
Emily: It just could not be more unserious. And so the whole, the way that they still are defaulting to these like serious air quotes tactics is, I mean, it kind of is very [00:32:00] entertaining.
Rob: Yeah. And it's wild because at the end of episode one, there's a tie and actually let me take a step back that's wild in general, that you're going to have a tie on episode one, but. With all of the, what I'm trying to say is with all the discussions of having alliances, like even CJ is just like, wait, people are forming alliances on this show on day one?
Like what? I don't even know these people. I was on like C grade reality TV, and who am I, okay I guess I'll form an alliance with Grocery Store Joe or
Emily: Yeah,
Rob: And, and it happens, it goes through, and then Because Tayshia is the GOAT, she has to do the tiebreaker, and she chooses, it was between Joey and who else?
Do you remember? That's
Emily: Joey and
Jason and her logic is, if it came down [00:33:00] to the final vote and it was between her and Joey, she wasn't sure if she could take Joey, take, quote unquote, but she knows she could take, quote unquote, Jason. And I'm like, what are you taking? Also, what the fuck makes you think that?
Like, why? You don't know them. It's so weird.
Rob: like when people talk about someone being, like production being involved on Vanderpump Rules, like sure. But this is the one where it is very obvious, it's like, hey, we need to create some stakes, so we need you all to form teams, can you all just like figure out how to form teams while doing this?
Emily: And then the weirdest thing, sorry to jump ahead just a little bit, but I don't want to forget this. I was like watching, and granted y'all, I'm medicated, I'm in pain, whatever, so maybe I missed [00:34:00] something, but CJ then forms Has this really deep conver I think it's CJ. Conversation with Jason where she's like in tears and it's weird because we don't find out till the end of the conversation that she has two dads.
So her, you know, dads are gay and
So, like, his story, Jason's story, I guess, like, resonates with her somehow. But we don't learn that till the end of the con the very end of their conversation. So we get, like, five minutes of these people that do not know each other, that are, like, crying over how much they love each other, day two.
And it's so weird, and how they're gonna have an alliance. And it's just, I I was like, I must have missed something. But no, it's
Rob: No.
Emily: ass backwards. It was really funny.
Rob: very much so. And speaking of ass backwards, in episode two people have to go ass backwards through the mud.
Emily: god that challenge. Let me tell you [00:35:00] I could not be on a reality competition show for a couple of reasons. One, I hate competition. Two, bullshit like this. Do not tell me that we're doing Bravo trivia and none of the questions actually have shit to do with Bravo.
And as a former trivia host, I hosted trivia for a year and I didn't get to create the questions.
The man who wrote them always did shit like this, and it always pissed my customers off. Because, they would be like, the round would be baseball. And so, if it's like, This baseball field is in Chicago. What's the most popular sandwich shop in Chicago? Like, is basically exactly what they do with Chicago, except with Bravo.
And I just, I, sorry to rant about it. I'm sorry. I feel passionately about well structured trivia questions, okay? Aw.
Rob: really should. Well, and like, that's why when I used to do trivia and, rest in peace to our old [00:36:00] trivia host in Kansas. He was great. But, uh, He would have people be a co host who got to write half the questions. I mean, it was a total racket. Like he was very smart. Like I have someone else do half the work.
I'll split the drink tickets with them. And if we make any money, they'll get some too. And, uh, But I loved co hosting because I would just make the, I would make questions that actually worked, but I would make them work for me. Right? Like, I'm not going to like, I don't know anything about baseball, about Chicago.
I'm not going to like do that. One of my favorite was, do you remember when Netflix, when it was the DVD service and they introduced streaming and it was just your Netflix instant cue?
Emily: Yes, I do remember that. Yes, yeah.
Rob: one of my consistent categories was Rob Schulte's Netflix Instant Q because that was also the days where you did not get high tier movies on Instant
Emily: Right,
Rob: So, Monsterd was always an
Emily: It was like the 2B of [00:37:00] that. Yeah, it was like early 2B, yeah.
Rob: theme is that they're being dragged through the mud because that's what people do on Bravo shows. And you either answer the question, if you don't know the answer, you can run through a mud pit to get a hint
and then
Emily: go back through the mud pit. It's so ridiculous, I can't
Rob: And so whoever wins is the goat.
In this episode, it's not Tayshia.
Emily: CJ was the goat.
Rob: Yes. It was CJ. Tayshia was episode one. So yeah, CJ wins we get a Passover dinner hosted by Jill Zarin, which is fun, you
Emily: really cute.
Rob: Yeah, maybe the best part of the
Emily: Yeah, I agree.
Rob: and then well, we didn't talk about at the beginning of episode two, though, is the women's alliance where like all the women meet in the room and all the guys are like, Humpty dumpty dum, I wonder what's going on up there.
Emily: Oh God, all I could think when they were doing that was, the something about her [00:38:00] stans would love this shit right now.
Rob: Oh man. You're so right.
Emily: was like, the whole time I was like, why are they forming a woman alliance? It's not, that doesn't, that doesn't actually benefit them at all. Like,
Rob: Yeah. Yeah.
Emily: like some of the women are still gonna have to go home because there's only one person that wins, right?
Rob: Yeah. because they're not even talking about how like, Oh, we're about to be split up into teams too, or like
Emily: dumb
Rob: And then after Passover, we get that scene you were talking about between Justin and CJ, that was just like, okay, this is a good scene, but it like didn't happen in a way that makes any sense until the end.
So if you skip through it at all.
Emily: what'd I say? I said Jason. I meant
I
Rob: Oh, it was Justin. There's Justin and Jason. But,
Emily: I meant Justin. Sorry. So sorry
Rob: don't come for her,
Emily: Yeah guys, leave me alone
Rob: Yeah, she's medicated, okay? so, in the [00:39:00] next challenge, Tosh comes out dressed like Lisa Rinna. To an
Emily: Jill Zarin goes, I thought he was just like me. I was like, girl,
Rob: come on, Joe, come on, Joe, this is very Cali. You're New York. We all know this. Um, and this one is at least somewhat more Bravo centric. And it's that they have to do a relay course. You have to flip a table like Teresa Giudice. you have to then throw silverware that is wrapped in napkins from one bus bin to the next bus bin, like Vanner Pumperwools, uh, season one, maybe.
And then you have to, get to the below deck thing, which is just throwing a life preserver over a buoy. And. they try to edit this to be neck and neck. It is fine. You know, it's like when you watch the amazing race and they're like, these two teams [00:40:00] are neck and neck, but like, why is the sun setting on one team and not on the other, uh, ends up that Wendell's team wins and so that puts. Essentially between Grocery Store Joe and
Emily: So at one point I was like, when they're trying to flip the stable, would you
Their strategy was, both of them, fucking ridiculous, like, they're like, both on, rather, you would want to be on the edge of the table and you would both want to use your leverage to like, I would think, whatever, it doesn't matter. Anyway, I'm sitting here watching this. I'm like, how fucking long are they taking to film this?
And Daniel Tosh out loud goes, Usually I'd be ready to rap, but I could watch this all day. I was like, that's
Rob: yeah,
Emily: And then he starts yelling out quotes from like different Bravo shows. And then he goes, It's not about the pasta! And Kristen, who hasn't been eliminated, She was, she was chosen to be put on the sidelines.
And she took it in stride. I guess she'd gotten quite injured [00:41:00]throughout the course of the day. And so she's on the sidelines and she's standing next to Tosh. And Tosh goes, it's not about the pasta. You know what that's from? And Kristen goes, yeah, he goes, what's
it from? She goes, Vanderpump Rules. And Tasha's like, yeah, I was like, this place?
Rob: Tosh, Tosh, do you know who you're talking to?
Emily: It's fucking insane right now.
Rob: I am so glad you brought that up, because it was wild to have Arguably the biggest Bravo star on this show sit out during the
Emily: Bravo challenge,
Rob: challenge, whether or not she's injured. It's just, it is wild because it's not like this was too crazy, but you know, Kristen gets on the right side, you know, she doesn't have to be on the vote.
And I am like, interested. In knowing, like, when these people will experience, like, when will Kristen's, like, [00:42:00] true form show? Because she will be able to win this
Emily: Yeah.
Rob: if she turns it on,
Emily: Well, she's already kind of shown a lot of her like competitive
Rob: Uh
Emily: side. And the, the competitive, she's got that thing, that competitive thing that I hate in people. And so that's starting to come out, but the like, kind of wild conniving, reckless abandon hasn't come out full force yet. And I'm, that's, I think what we're waiting for.
Rob: Well, it is interesting that it, like, somehow gets chalked up between Grocery Store Joe and Tayshia, like I was saying,
to be the ones people are voting for. Like, on all these vote out shows, it does, like, the thing that's not really, like, edited out loud, I should say, is that like, they bring it down to like two people.
Are we going to vote for this person? Are we going to vote for this person? So that like, the people who have made quote, alliances are in line. And Tayshia sits down with Grocery [00:43:00] Store Joe and has like, I like Tayshia.
Emily: Yeah.
Rob: She has some of the dumbest advice
and is like almost condescending towards him because and Joe does the same thing right back to her But she's like, you know, you're gonna get voted out, but you need to like try to put it on someone else Do but the, the point is, though, is that Joe's like, yeah, you see what you're doing? You're saying you need to vote for me because of your alliance of all the women, you know, she says this woman's alliance, and He's like, but don't you understand that that's like eight people.
And so if you don't start figuring out another way, like it doesn't even have to be me, but like, if you don't find your way out of this eight person Alliance on like a 10 person show, like you're gonna be at the bottom of that list real soon. And then they'll just come for
Emily: Yeah.
Rob: And then of course, that's what happens because they all vote and they realize. [00:44:00] Just before the vote, Tayshia says, I had to sit down with Joe. I told him about the alliance. Well, you told him about our alliance. You're
Emily: Yeah.
Rob: And which is exactly how that stuff works. And so they vote Tayshia
Emily: Which, by the way, it's not like, it's not like, He couldn't have figured it out based on the fact that, you know, two hours ago you guys were all upstairs With the door open to this open balcony house talking about your alliance going back and forth. So
Rob: yeah.
Emily: Yeah,
Rob: much said like, yeah, you didn't have to tell me. I already figured it out.
Emily: Yeah
Rob: was three votes for grocery store Joe and the rest were for Tasha. And so people just call us through, they're like, who voted for Joe? Because that means that someone broke an alliance somewhere.
And it who was it was the gal from big brother, right? She's just like it's [00:45:00] me, but I'm not
Emily: Yeah. She is a Siobhan. Yeah. She was like, or Devon,
Devon,
Rogers. She was like, yeah, I mean, it was me, but no, I
Rob: they don't need to know that and that's the best way to play these games, right? Like if you if you're good enough liar, yeah, I can see that and so That's how we kind of wrap the Tayshia's a little pissed off they, like, send, like, a Ford Taurus or
Emily: No, they send a Prius. She's like, I got
here in an Escalade and they're sending a Prius to pick me up. I was like, humble yourself, girl.
Rob: Humble yourself, my friend. Bring it down a notch. But we're, you know, I, I look forward to watching more of The Goat. And I, I can't imagine there's that many seasons of this show. But, or that many episodes.
Emily: cause that, both, to me. oh, Lindsay gave me some sound advice when we were recording just before this. She said that there
Rob: Lindsay Evander pod
Emily: Yes, Lindsay of Vanderpod Recaps. She said that there's lots of spoiler content about the goat out there, guys. [00:46:00] That it the spoiler warnings in the caption, but the The thing that they're spoiling is the actual post, the first slide.
So, uh, be careful if you're like us. Because I haven't seen episode three yet. So,
Rob: Neither have I. Maybe I'll go watch it now to just like avoid
Emily: Oh, good, good idea. I should do that too.
Rob: Yes. Um, yeah, it sounds very productive. Um, well, Emily, you want to remind people where to get your podcast?
Emily: My podcast is Who TF Knows Emily Rose. That's at Who TF Knows Emily Rose on Instagram, WTFKEmilyRose on Twitter. My personal Instagram is at emilyagogo. If you want to follow that, you can. And we've been releasing episodes every Saturday covering Vanderpump Rules, me and Lindsay of Vanderpod Recaps.
Also, uh, I don't know why not. You can cut this out if you want, Rob. I started a subreddit on Reddit. If you're someone who kind of listened to our discussion and feels kind of the same way and you want a place to go that's kind of more nuanced, it's [00:47:00] are all about the pasta.
Uh, no spaces or anything. So Subres called all about the pasta, and the idea is to have nuanced conversations about Vander Vanderpump rules. And, uh, if there's no season 12, then I guess we can just carry on the nuance for the rest of our lives.
Rob: It's where we're going to post all of our Southern charm and Southern hospitality
Emily: yes, . So come on over.
Rob: All right. Well, listeners, thank you for listening. Thank you for watching. If you're on the pump teeny tier of the Vanderpump Rob's Patreon, uh, where of course, I get the support from listeners like you to keep this show going when there isn't a current Vanderpump rules season going on, guess what? Any sort of ads I get usually only want to buy ads when there's a new season of Vanderpump rules.
So. Uh, I supplement that with the five, the 1, 5, 8 tier at patreon. com slash Vanderpump Rob's. You can go there to see everything you get, [00:48:00] but really pay the money because you want to support the things you like. And then if you get an ad free episodes or bonus or video episodes, that's just an added bonus.
Also, unlike most podcast players, what I do like about Patreon is that then you can have a discussion and comment section for each episode. So if you really want to talk about the episode itself, you can do it to a restricted group of people who also feel like you because they are pledging money to have the conversation and listen.
Anywho, that's it for now. Emily, thanks again, and we will see everyone next time on Vanderpump
Emily: See ya